We’re married! Now what? But Wait!

I have to say, welcome to the other side of 9 years of “I do”! The undocumented moments that lies beyound the courtship, wedding day and honeymoon. It is the place where your weaknesses and strengths are mirrored and challenged. And the place where purpose, visions, dreams and many victories have been won intentionally. Talk about expectancy— the journey began to the road of “I do”. So what’s my role?

What exactly is my role on the other side of ‘I Do’ for 9 years? I’m glad you asked my dearest reader.

From unmarried to a whole fiancé and being married JOURNEY. As a young married couple, we understood that in other to have a successful marriage you must be able to serve God, each other and falling in love over and over. So we incorporated this same philosophy into ‘The Alexander Family Foundation & Events’ which grew to our passion. Serving others with love in this current life helps you to inspire, fulfil and empower those people. The interaction, the stories urges us both to do more through the obedience of our only true source—God. Transforming someone’s story is our mission. Our leadership roles together maximises the work we do now & beyond our greater capacity. It is valuable to the people we serve on a daily basis.

The pressure of being a wife extends beyound gathering of registries, receiving gifts, the number of people you invite, cutting up wedding dresses in magazines, picking flower, decors and cake arrangements or choosing exquisite venues. As refreshing as it may sound we lead by example. Evolving from the role as friends from separate responsibilities to creating a whole new family with joint responsibilities not only has its’ benefits, but also challenges. Because of this, we are often asked, “how did you prepare to be husband & wife; what did the transition feel like into marriage?” Wow! Honestly, the only answer we provide is not an answer that’s sought— the answer is not painted in glimmer, nor does it shine like diamond. The only answer that is fitting we typically give leads back to our foundation and principles of our faith rooted in the the promise of God. To be groomed as a bride and bridegroom to be a husband and a wife, that you must be prepared to undertake the roles of being in covenant together.

Too many people may seem it's a bit odd because you cannot be super prepared for all that God has called you to be or become for His glory. There are many people that believe that being prepared to be a husband or wife includes the accomplishments (jobs, degrees, and homes), the physique (super physically fit), and the aesthetics (expensive clothing, posh hair, and makeup). As the scripture states in Roman 8:28— “And, we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”. We are strong believers of God and his expectation for our life. Walking in purpose fullfils you, it becomes your passion & desire to live for more on earth. Living a life without purpose; it like taking a straw basket to fetch water. Do you want that everyday? A purposeful life is a life full of love, laughter and service.

How do we cultivate the essential foundation the way God intended to? In scripture there are great examples like Esther, the Proverbs 31 woman and Ruth. We have Ruth, where her sound obedience to follow directions helped her to find her mate. The Proverbs 31 woman, through her disciplined character, work abilities, determination, her husband found favour with all the elders. Then we have the story of Esther who was prepared to have an encounter with the King as Queen, remembered her call, and was brave enough to stay faithful to help her people.

Within those stories, it can be that all the treasures of God’s promise among those three wives sure does outweigh being one hundred percent prepared. Or, having the perfect physique, accomplishments, and aesthetics. It doesn’t even measure up to any of those qualities at all! Apparently, the level of significance of husband and wife models or roles have forgotten or diminished, making marriage of less honourable and valuable. For it is written, the bible states that a husband and wife are:

1. A symbol of honour & royalty (Prov. 12: 24)

2. A treasure of favour (Prov. 18:22)

3. A Suitable helpmate (Gen. 2:18)

4. A priceless human being of integrity(Prov. 31:10)

5. An understanding inheritance (Prov. 19:14)

6. A love guided but the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:25)

7. A man leaves his father & mother; join as one (Partnership) (Ephesians 5:31)

8. A love to each other & respect (Ephesians 5:33)

What now? Being on the other side of ‘I Do’ for a refreshing nine years; it is a journey of support, nobleness, humblest, strategic prayer, honesty and transparency, growth, helpfulness, grace, active communication, active listening, wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Cultivating those characteristics once planted while unmarried, out of intentionality. And be nurtured and fortified during marriage and beyound. Remember, when you cross on the other side of ‘I DO’ what lies ahead is purpose, promise, compassion, pleasure, leadership, power, courage and fun.

My beautiful people, ‘ ask yourself, did I commit to God’s intentional standard of marriage or a Disney storyline of ‘Aladdin’ fairytale for a bridegroom or bride FLYING ON A RUG & A GENIE?

What did you come up with? The journey…